LIE NO. 14 | 12.13.18

What started as a mileage run turned into so much more.
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I’m my absolute favorite version of myself when traveling—whether to Lantau Island, Hong Kong, or Lafayette, Indiana. I find comfort in the uncomfortable. I chase vulnerability rather than run from it. I throw caution to the wind instead of seeking shelter from any semblance of spontaneity. I get lost. I veer off course. I deviate from plans—assuming one exists in the first place.
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Basically, I’m the opposite of my usual self when traveling. The Sasha Fierce to my Beyoncé, if you will. I constantly beat myself up wishing everyday me would be more like traveling me.
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Then yesterday, I serendipitously stumbled on a sign pointing to—no joke—the Wisdom Path + spontaneously followed it. I didn’t know where it led or how long it would take me to get there. I was overcome with emotion the second I laid eyes on it, 32 wooden beams with Chinese inscriptions. I asked someone what it said; it’s the Heart Sutra, or the perfection of wisdom. I let myself sit there + soak it in. It wasn’t the monument itself that moved me, it was its message. I couldn’t read the verses, but still understood them.
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There is no better or lesser version of me. Travel me exists because of everyday me + vice versa. It’s been an introspective year for me, to say the least. I’ve felt the highest of highs + lowest of lows as I’ve delved deep into the cerebral filing cabinet, uncovering drawers chockablock with compartments I forgot existed. I’ve been emptying it all out in hopes of making sense of it all. I realized yesterday that in doing so, I’d totally missed the point. There are no good files or bad files in there; they’re all interconnected. It’s impossible to clean out the bad + a waste of time to stash it in the back. It doesn’t have to, nor will it ever, all make sense. It just has to be. I need to let it be.

Together, it makes me who I am, which is a tiny, but interconnected, part of a much bigger world. 👈🏻 This is why I travel.