LIE NO. 15 | 04.26.19

Marriage is the worst... AND the best. We recently learned several of our single friends are under the false pretense that marriage = bliss. Once you find your person, you’re complete. Your vows, the final pieces to the puzzle.
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Da fuq?! Once we stopped laughing at the ridiculousness (the naïveté!) of these otherwise highly intelligent people—I mean, who is spreading that rumor?!—we realized they were serious. And then we realized we’re part of the problem.
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@mahaller34 + I know we didn’t start the fire, but we fan the fake flames with the best of ‘em. The combination of this revelation coupled with (see what we did there?!) hard conversations + tears on the heels of one of our dumbest—and most difficult—fights, we thought it high time we come clean. We caught ourselves asking ‘is it like this in every marriage?!’ in between the not-so-sweet-nothings being not-so-whispered between us. We realized even *we* fall for the perfect couple fallacy. It’s easy to do when most people only share the good times and are award-winning actors in the bad.
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Sometimes the “living our best lives!” caption is as applicable to an exotic vacation photo as it is to one of us sitting on the couch mindlessly scrolling IG, unsure how many episodes’ worth of time has passed since we last acknowledged the other. Have we even said hello today?
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And while we’re at it, you know what else is a lie? Those picture-perfect posts we share aren’t even our favorite moments. The world’s best camera can’t capture what can’t be seen by anyone but us: the tears of joy and the tears of despair; our secret language and our hurtful language; our tough talks and our triumphant talks.
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Marriage lives in the ‘and,’ at least for us. It’s hard and it’s easy. It’s comfortable and it’s uncomfortable. It’s natural and it’s unnatural. It’s amazing and it’s anything but. It’s ever consistent and ever changing. It’s fun and it requires next-level patience. Sometimes we’re all in and sometimes we want to throw in the towel. Maybe there’s a reason puzzles don’t have winners and losers: It’s not a game. We do the best we can, one piece at a time.