Lie No. 11 | 10.21.18

Nothing thrills me more professionally than when a project ends up in a completely different place than I expected going in. Personally, that’s my nightmare. The unknown. Not knowing what comes next, and worse, the likelihood it won’t align with my expectations. And them some bitches.
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We’re taught to have great expectations for ourselves + those we surround ourselves with. That makes sense—aim high, right? Then somewhere along the line, we start telling ourselves life is easier if we lower our expectations (maybe I shouldn’t be using we here... maybe it’s just me). But that doesn’t seem right either. Can we just not have expectations? Is that unhealthy?
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I expect my hair to not be a hot mess all the time. I expect clothing to come with pockets. I expect people to do things I don’t ask them to do. Worse, sometimes I expect people to do the opposite of what I say I want. I expect what I order in a drive-thru to be what’s in the bag when I open it miles down the road. I expect the worst—in basically everyone + everything at one point or another. I expect to be disappointed. Even when—especially when—I say I have no expectations, buckle up. I’ve scripted what comes next but there’s no table read so good luck with your lines.👌🏼 It’s probably one of my most unkind qualities; I’m constantly setting myself + others up to fail or disappoint no matter how hard I try not to.
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I expect stories to make sense + tend to obsess over the ones that don’t. I want everything to come together at some point. It doesn’t even have to tie together perfectly or positively! It just has to tie together. It has to. (See what I did there?! #ExpectationSetting) Aren’t we told everything happens for a reason?! But maybe we’re confusing reason with meaning. Maybe not every person, place or thing that comes into our life has to make sense or have some outsized meaning, or any meaning at all, no matter how desperately we want it to, or expect it to.
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P.S. Guess who I have an appointment with tomorrow?! Maybe I’ll try something new + unexpected. 😉